Have i made it perfectly clear that i'm not gonna be ok ? ?

A life of conformity
choices based on fear
running down my cheeks
a blood stained tear

this life is full of memories
moments that i regret
but i go to sleep each night praying
that i will only forget

I've forgotten what it feels like
just to truly care
I'm over myself
this feeling isn't fair

searching for an answer
to a question i don't know
hoping that one day
all this pain will go

holding on to hope
as I'm drowning in this floor
its far to much emotion
bed sheets stained with blood

the constant silent screaming
that you chose not to hear
I'm never going to be alright
have i made that perfectly clear

you can go on being ignorant
oblivious to my pain
but life holds no meaning
my death will bring me gain