I dream

Beautiful but sad as always. 5/5, Em

I dream i had a mummy
i dream that she loves me
i dream we could hold hands
for all the world to see

i dream i had a daddy
i dream he couldn't shout
i dream he loved my mummy
and we went on fun days out

i dream we had a cuddle
i dream we ate ice cream
i dream that they are real
but they're only just my dream.

This is such a simple poem, but it's effective and gets the message across..

The repitition of the 'I dream' worked really well because it highlights the emotion here.

The only thing you need to do is capitalize the 'I's throughout.

This is really sad.
Nice work..
5/5

[thanks for the comment, btw]

This poem is soooo sad it puts you in the position of a little orphan girl i luv it great job but if it's true SORRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sad poem... I've found it very touchy! Good write.

Naw, I love this poem. The wording was lovely.
5/5

Cheers xo