These fake smiles I show

These fake smiles I show,
Mean nothing to you as far as I can see.
You told me you loved me,
I fell for all the lies.
You tried to hold me close,
You tried to make the move.
But I backed off,
Away from you.
Knowing you wanted me,
For something I did not want.
These fake smiles I show,
Hiding the pain I hold.
The pain is strong,
Growing stronger everyday.
I can't bare not being with you,
The one true guy I love.
I'm scared,
I'm forever lost.
These fake smiles I show,
Are they what you want to see.
Is it what you know to be,
You want me to be someone I'm not.
How could I possibly love you,
I love another,
But you won't let go.
You pull me closer,
While I pull away.
I scream and yell,
But you won't let go.
I told you once,
Don't mess with me.
You threatened to take my life,
But I told you I don't care.
You looked at me,
Looked into my eyes.
You saw darkness,
Something dark and horrid.
Tell me what you see,
A side of me you haven't seen.
You brought me out into the open,
Now it's time to show you my true self.
These fake smiles I show,
I not real but are hiding my pain.
The pain I have deep inside,
Don't get close to me,
You'll never understand me.
Back off now,
Or die at my hand.
These fake smiles I show,
Are something I must show.