With this knife...

I'm here on the outside
looking into my own soul
what i see is the darkness
that follows me everywhere i go
for the remainder of my time on earth
i must say, I'm not to thrilled
i let you see me smile
but you don't see the void not filled
I'm laughing on the outside
but the inside resents life
I'm dying on the inside
thats why i play with this knife.
you've never seen me shed a tear
i do not cry one time
for this lonely little girl that is me
is begging to be fine
sinking into darkness
just you average emo kid
i try to ignore everything you say
but i blame you for what i did.
Ive never felt so lonely
but still i live to please
pushing my pain aside, to help
puts my heart at ease
i get lost in my writing
its my only escape
you wanna get to know me?
well I'm afraid its to late.
i like to pretend I'm happy.
like to pretend that i love life
but still my pain does not rest
and so still i play with this knife
i like to be alone with myself,
and i like to play in the rain.
because then no one can see me crying.
thats always so hard to explain.
when you look at me, you'll see a girl
who is outgoing, sensitive and smart.
but the real me is quite the opposite.
and wears a broken heart.
a broken heart set in black
to match her once golden soul
and the days spent hiding, secretly longing
for it to once again be whole.
Death will overpower me someday
and ill let go of this life.
but till then, ill keep on hiding my pain
and make do with this knife.