Angels in disguise

by MERCY is never shown   May 19, 2008


Why do you judge her
that girl you've never spoken to
you see the bruises
she tries to hide
the life she leaves behind
but you cant be seen with her
what would they think of you
why do you judge him
that boy who sits alone
his trials have left him
the way he is today
drunk driver wrecked car
damage beyond repair
he is quick to smile
but slow to learn
but you cant be seen with him
what would they think of you
why do you judge them
an entire group of people
each heart has a story
each person has a past
each face hiding pain and tears
but all you think is
you can't be seen with them
what would they think of you
but why turn a judging eye
just to the ones who seem different
what of you
you have problems
you have trials
why punish them for something
the entire world is facing
but we cant be seen with them
what would we think of ourselves
each person has a heart
and each heart has a story
each story has tears and laughs
with every tear a scar
with every laugh
a simple moment of happiness

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    Nicely written... I like the way you moved on to show your perspective on this topic. Lableing people is the worst type of discrimination in society today, it is true what you say, we are always afraid of people seeing us with the "inappropriate" crowd, when we are only afraid because we feel and think that way and expect everyone to think the same way. great point you got there and I hope we all get rid of this habbit and can be able to live normally. I also like the way you ended the poem, emotion is always what convinces people and reaches their hearts.

  • 10 years ago

    by No Need For A Name

    Interesting. It is a very good tone and theme throughout, and I am quite happy with it, it flows quite natuarally. The only thing I would recommend would be to maybe gather your thoughts more, be a bit more focused, you seem to waiver here and there. Overall, very well done.

    Peace and prosperity,

    (RKD)

  • 10 years ago

    by AngelicDecadence

    I'm impressed with the idea of this, it kind of reminds me of the song "Hero" by Superchick.. not quite the same, but it's alike in a way. Nicely done.

    Why do you judge her

    ^I would add a "?" after this line.

    that girl you've never spoken to
    you see the bruises
    she tries to hide
    the life she leaves behind
    but you cant be seen with her

    ^"cant" should be "can't".

    what would they think of you
    why do you judge him
    that boy who sits alone
    his trials have left him
    the way he is today
    drunk driver wrecked car

    ^I think, "drunk driver, wrecked car" is better.
    damage beyond repair
    he is quick to smile
    but slow to learn
    but you cant be seen with him
    what would they think of you
    why do you judge them
    an entire group of people
    each heart has a story
    each person has a past
    each face hiding pain and tears
    but all you think is
    you can't be seen with them
    what would they think of you
    but why turn a judging eye
    just to the ones who seem different
    what of you

    ^I think here in the last line you should put "what of you?"

    you have problems
    you have trials
    why punish them for something

    ^"why punish them for things"
    the entire world is facing
    but we cant be seen with them
    what would we think of ourselves
    each person has a heart
    and each heart has a story
    each story has tears and laughs
    with every tear a scar
    with every laugh
    a simple moment of happiness

    I would like to seperate this differently and see what becomes of it, I think the difference would be phenominal, because this has a lot of potiental and it's an incrediably moving piece.

    Why do you judge her,
    that girl you've never spoken to?
    you see the bruises
    she tries to hide
    the life she leaves behind
    but you can't be seen with her
    what would they think of you?

    Why do you judge him,
    that boy who sits alone?
    his trials have left him
    the way he is today
    drunk driver, wrecked car
    damage beyond repair
    he is quick to smile
    but slow to learn
    but you can't be seen with him
    what would they think of you?

    Why do you judge them,
    an entire group of people?
    each heart has a story
    each person has a past
    each face hiding pain and tears
    but all you think is:
    you can't be seen with them
    what would they think of you?

    But why turn a judging eye
    just to the ones who seem different?
    what of you?
    you have problems
    you have trials
    why punish them for things
    the entire world is facing
    but we can't be seen with them
    what would we think of ourselves?

    Each person has a heart
    and each heart has a story
    each story has tears and laughs
    with every tear, a scar
    with every laugh
    a simple moment of happiness.

    ^this piece touched me in a way not many things can, it has a good point, why do people do these things? it makes the reader question their own actions towards others, or others actions towards them. It's a thought provoking poem, and it's amazing. The emotions here are expressed well, and I can guess you have your own reasons for writing this. Well done.

  • 11 years ago

    by Midnight Sun

    I think this piece had great potential and I can't wait to see how you tie it all back to the title. It's definately a great piece for imagry as well...not in the traditional sense by using symbolism to create pictures, but you definately picture the scenes and people you're talking about. You've done a great job and it's not even done yet! :) 5/5 for sure for a work in progress. Keep it up!
    ~Midnight Sun

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