If I hide ((Will you Seek?))

by StandStill   Jun 5, 2008


Let's play a game,
just you and me.
Hide-and-seek playmates
like fish and anenome.

I'll hide behind words
and you'll try to break through.
Come on, prove that I matter,
that I matter enough to you.

Show me you'll look,
seek hard and long.
Remind me I matter,
that I'm not always wrong.

Promise to me that I matter,
that I matter so much to you.
But if when I hide, you don't seek...
I won't believe that it's true.

I hide so often,
I hide behind masks and lovely words.
But will you look hard enough
that the truth will be heard?

So darling, my dearest,
if I hide, will you seek?
Do you see me as worthy,
or do you see me as a freak?

"And then there are the special cases who hide because...well, because they just want someone to care enough to look for them." ~In Plain Sight

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  • 15 years ago

    by Kayla

    Let's play a game,
    just you and me.
    Hide-and-seek playmates
    like fish and anenome.

    [ This was a great opening for this poem. A great start even though you used very little words. It reminded me of my childhood days when I was out playing with the other kids in my family. I believe this stanza will bring childhood memories back to anyone. ]

    I'll hide behind words
    and you'll try to break through.
    Come on, prove that I matter,
    that I matter enough to you.

    [ Omg, I just love how you're really egging this person on. You're tempting them... so desperately trying to get them to show that you mean something to them. It was a powerful stanza that worked in your favor. It was like the tough side of Gabby that you hardly ever see. Wonderful! ]

    Show me you'll look,
    seek hard and long.
    Remind me I matter,
    that I'm not always wrong.

    [ Sweetie, you really aren't always wrong. We all make mistakes but we're not (always) wrong. I can see where you're coming from though. This is actually a stanza that I can relate to and I'm sure others will would be able to relate as well. We all want someone to do anything to prove we matter to them and I think it was brilliant how you put that in this poem. ]

    Promise to me that I matter,
    that I matter so much to you.
    But if when I hide, you don't seek...
    I won't believe that it's true.

    [ This stanza honestly has me baffuled. I don't know who in their right mind wouldn't look for you, Gabby. It was great, however. You were being straight up here and that's what I really liked about this stanza. ]

    I hide so often,
    I hide behind masks and lovely words.
    But will you look hard enough
    that the truth will be heard?

    [ This has to be one of my most favorite stanza's out of the entire poem. Not only is it something you pulled out of your own personal life, but it's also something realistic. There are many people who feel this way. I guess you could say it's another relatable stanza, babe. ]

    So darling, my dearest,
    if I hide, will you seek?
    Do you see me as worthy,
    or do you see me as a freak?

    [ Wow! I really was not expecting this ending.. the freak part totally caught me off guard. It was perfect though. You want to surprise the reader and that's exactly what you did here. ]

    Hunni, you are an amazing poetry writing. I'm not sure how many times I have told you that either. You used strong vocabulary, especially at the end, and I loved every second of it. You used all of these creative elements that aren't hardly seen in poems these days and you put them all in one. It was truly brilliant, my dear. Great job. 5/5 <3 <3 <3 <3

    ~Kayla~

  • 15 years ago

    by CalGirl

    Gabs, this is truly wonderful...

    It's amazing to read your poems and see how amazing they are. I keep telling you, gabs, you should really find out about publishing them...

    i love it, we all hide behind another self, and we shouldn't. I love your poem, it reminds me of myself... =)

    i truly believe what you're trying to get across. It's a very strong message, embedded in a concrete metaphor.

    I love it, i love the way all of your poems seem to teach me something new.

    ~Sophie~

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