I had a dream

by Brandon Lee   Jun 6, 2008


I had a dream last night, one unlike any other.
We were in the back seat of a car, riding along together.
You told me you were sorry and you told me that you loved me.
My mind was again at peace, as my heart was filled with glee.
We hugged each other, a hug so filled with joy.
Only so that I could awake to have my hopes destroyed.
Saddness over took me, tears threatened to fill my eyes.
I was left open to despair from just another lie.
I clinched my teeth as I tried to sleep.
Hoping once more I could relive that dream.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Teria

    I like this poem. You did a really good job writing it. I think that you should take a look at an article here online, it might help for your poems to be more catchy than story like. This one in particular I like though. It's written well like this. But, taking a look might help you somewhat

    LINK TO ARTICLE:

    http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/article.html?id=636

  • 15 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "I had a dream last night, one unlike any other.
    We were in the back seat of a car, riding along together.
    You told me you were sorry and you told me that you loved me.
    My mind was agian at peace, as my heart was filled with glee."

    First two lines: Good opening, grabbed my attention.

    Fourth line: "agian" should be "again".

    "We hugged each other, a hug so filled with joy.
    Only so that I could awake to have my hopes destroyoved."

    Second line: "destroyoved" should be "destroyed".

    Saddness over took me, tears threatened to fill my eyes.
    I was left open to despair from just another lie."

    Excellent rhyming and the emotion is just pouring out here.

    4/5, just some minor errors but other than that, I enjoyed this short piece. Keep writing, always and forever...