Maybe It's Just Me

I wish I could say I was smarter than this.
I want to let go
But it's just so hard
Because I still want you to exist.
Why can't things be simpler than now?

I've moved on from 'Depressed',
Meet my new friend 'Lonely.'
She's much better I say,
So far we've been getting along great.

I wish I could still talk to you
Without feeling like my legs are going to break,
Or how my stomach is getting weak,
Or how my heart drops ten feet.
I wish I could still listen to your favorite song
And for once not have your face crawl into my memory.

I want to say I don't need you,
I want to say I hate you,
But we all know I couldn't.
You don't know how I'm feeling.
That every breath I take,
Every step I take,
Every tear I cry,
Is for you.
You don't know that I'm willing
To be with you again,
No matter who approves or not.

Sometimes I wish we never met,
Never fell in love.
Sometimes I'm glad of what we had.
Sometimes I miss you all over again.

I should have known something couldn't work out.
I should have known that that one chance
Was all I could have.
Maybe we weren't meant to be.
Or maybe it's just me,
Scared of knowing that if there is a next time,
It'd be real.