Almost fine

by Freedom   Jun 11, 2008


How blind I was to see?
How stupid I had to be?
Sky is blue.
Grass is green.
World is singing,but I haven't seen.
I carved my life as a gift for you
Caring what you say,thinking what you do.
Like a master and his dog
Resting beneath your seducing hand.
Trying to uderstand your freaky caprice
Hardly at nights I could breathe.
When we drifted apart I thought I will drown
I was crying at nights,I was so down
I couldnt see what was going around.
But now i see you are not worthy it
As you went on your way;you are very cheap.
Your pictures on my wall I wont keep;
I let them burn as i burn memories in my heart.
I burry my feelings,I press restart.

*Today I woke up and i understood i m over you
I simply can smile,I am almost fine
Loving you was a mistake
But finally i wake
And found someone new.
Believe me,I am not missing YOU.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This poem I created from a real event,this really happened in my life.I have some advice to all people who are suffering from heartache.please write me private message and i will help you :)
^^^Freedom

    report violation
0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by AnCi

    Fantastic poem.. And I really liked the part where you say "ALMOST fine" =) Great job! 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by waiting 4 some1

    Wow
    fanstastic, i enjoyed the poem alot.
    the rhythm, the words and the flow were nice.

    the meaning and the feelings were honest and true

    i really loved it

    "As you went on your way;you are very cheap.
    Your pictures on my wall I wont keep;
    I let them burn as i burn memories in my heart.
    I burry my feelings,I press restart."

    my favorite part

    it's really strange that you got a rating of 3...you deserve 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by LadyPearl

    "Sky is blue.
    Grass is green.
    World is singing,but I haven't seen."

    ^Excellent, there's a certain sincerity in this poem especially in these lines.
    My tip for you is to continue writing like you do but (a lot of young poets make this mistake) keep a balance between sentences like

    "I made my all life on you
    Caring what you say,thinking what you do."

    *With more poetic lines such as

    "I carved my life as a gift for you
    Caring what you say, thinking what you do.
    Like a master and his dog
    Resting beneath your seducing hand"

    The most successful poets hardly ever rhyme (keep that in mind :)) and don't forget to edit. Keep on writing!

Read All Comments (3)

More Poems By Freedom