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by Dawn aka Dominique Jun 18, 2008
Life, society /
It flows with the beat of my pulse
And the beat of each raindrop
Small everlasting sounds
That never come to a stop
Leaving a sound of thunder
Is the sight of a bolt
Energy being released
With a powerful jolt
With huge rage of destruction
The storm is finally here
An unwanted feeling from children
Of nerves, scarce, and fear
With damage to come and find
Awoken the next morning
For my family is in need
In hope he'll send an angel, down on it wings
That was simple and down to the point i liked! i showed emotion, very srong emotion i loved it! 5/5
The last stanza is nice, but a little bit off.
by LESBIAN KIZZEZ
by Lonely Rider
Well written.. I liked the title most..
very well described.. the approach of storm.. the lightening...
the last stanza is touching... but i hope you could change the last line... its a little off...
overall a nice read...
Well for me it was good up until the ending. The flow was off and it kinda through me a little bit. But otherwise it had some good imagery and the rhymes weren't too bad. Maybe some more striking words though. So I'm going to give it a 4