Shattered

Dad, I want you to know
that no matter what happened between us
I will always love you...
I know that no matter what they say 50%
of it isn't true...

I know that I wasn't
one of your regrets...
I know that you didn't drink in order
to do the things you did,
but rather drank to escape
and forget about it...

I know you have a genuine heart
no matter what they say
I thought for so long I hated you
but those feelings went away.
I try hide my feelings as best as I can
but some days go hide away and cry,
my mascara runs down my cheeks,
dad, I miss you so much...

After losing you I
became so suddenly weak,
I know that you didn't mean to hurt me
and that you wished you
could have given me the childhood that I never had
I know you wished that I could have grown up with
my dad.

Instead I found myself moving around
and not having a stable home...
No matter how many people were around me
I always felt so alone...

I see your eyes drop,
they beat you so bad
you could not speak...
you were cut and bruised,
beaten and broken
and for all this...
the answer is left unspoken...

You didn't deserve what they did...
I wish I could say just how much I love you
but there will always be a division between us...
something that has broken our once strong bond...
she knows exactly who she is...
and that she caused you to no longer hold on...

Why did you give up on me like that!!!!
I was so young,
I didn't understand...
"my daddy's gone..."
how will I ever go on...
No matter what you will always be my hero,
I try stay strong
but the tears are running down my cheeks,
I wish you could understand the pain that Liz inflicted on me...

You say you just could no longer love my mom
and thats why you did it...
You told me you would always love me...
but after the things she did
when you wernt there
I get the feeling you no longer care...

I became a distant memory
of your past...
a painful memory that is shattered like glass...