Caustically Unspoken

I have the urge to talk to him
I have so much to say
I sit here all alone
While thoughts of him won't go away
Mind verses heart, I struggle
To go on another day
I cannot go and talk to him
I have to walk away

He'll think of me as weak
I cannot show my tears
I'm not afraid of what he'll think
That's beyond my greatest fears

But what you do not realize
Is what he'll tell his friends
He'll steal my heart from me again
and crush it with cold-hearted hands
I can't tell him about the caustic thoughts
Of the times when we had plans
Or that I still remember our special spots
That we had loved throughout the lands

I cannot help but feel sometimes
That he still thinks of me
It was just so special, what we had
I thought surely we were meant to be
Why'd he ever have to tell those lies
Why couldn't I just see
The person that I thought he was
Could never really be

I want to say these things to him
But I don't want to have to deal
With the criticism he'll throw my way
Because he won't care of how I feel

I've been waiting several months
To be able to be healed
To be healed from this broken heart
That I've been wearing as a shield
I block out the love and trust
That tries to enter this lonely field
But the trust I have for others
Can no longer be revealed

Because of him I am afraid
To try to love another man
I'm scared someone will hurt me again
So I hide my heart so no one can

With trust only in the Lord
I'll try to love again
My heart will be restored in time
But for now, I'll bury it within