Devoured life

by Mr. Darcy   Jun 30, 2008


Psychosis erodes my fragile rest,
Whilst demons vomit their evil finesse.

I feel their talons claw open my chest,
Exposing my life, so cruelly suppressed.

Come suck out these lungs, grant my request,
Inflict sweet suffering, spit your detest.

My life is stifled, forever oppressed,
Slice open my heart, devour my death.

M. Moran
19.38
29.06.08

Special thanks to Lone Warrior -
*Technical adviser extraordinare*

1


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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Aish

    That was really good!
    Clever how each line rhymed, and that you found all the words that really worked without it seeming like you were grasping for them.
    Really dark but vivid! the imagery is fantastic
    5/5

  • Wow antrust me i dont say wow much but you ued all your words nicly mny people dont know how to do that 5/5

  • 15 years ago

    by S R P

    This was an excellent poem, I very much enjoyed the emotions that were portrayed through the piece.

  • 15 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    " feel their talons claw open my chest,
    Exposing my life, so cruelly suppressed. "

    ^^this is so dark.... and so well written...

    "Psychosis erodes my fragile rest,
    Whilst demons vomit their evil finesse. "

    ^^wonderful word choice...
    "evil finesse" -- interesting term

    excellent write...
    keep writing...

  • 15 years ago

    by Blueleo

    It was a very nice piece as all your work is. It was a little harsh on my eyes, but if my eyes had witnessed what they had not seen then I believe the words delivered the emotions superbly. 5/5 without a question.