When Your here

A lot of emotions, sad and very good. I enjoyed reading this piece. Great write 5/5

Can you hear my whispers
A cry to see if your still there,
But I hear no return
Just the silence I entered.
^^Maybe if you added a question mark to the first line... And on the second one it's supposed to be 'you're' instead of 'your'.

I'm waiting for the light to come
So this devil goes with the dark,
Chances have passed
Choices have forgotten me.
^^This stanza is really good.

I'm waiting
To see if I can hear your breath,
A sign you still care
Something to hang on to.
^^I have a small problem with the first line being so short, but it's ok and it doesn't take away from the poem.

Air is thin
It begins to be harder to breathe,
I'm standing on this railway
Waiting for that long black train to come through.
^^Once again, short first line. lol I adore the last two lines, though.

Dreams become infected
Of the man that haunts midnight,
The world comes spinning
Faster then ever.

Wounds once closed
Become open once again,
Strings holding my heart
Cuts with every passing moment.

I'm still waiting for you to bring back my life
That's totally destroyed now,
Devil won't bother me no more
If your around.
^^Wow, the emotions are really strong in this stanza. It's really sad, too.

You don't realize
I'm not scared of the night
When your holding me close,
Breathing in my ear, letting me know your still there.
^^That's a good ending. The last line really ties it all together.

If I were you, I'd work on the punctuation a bit. And of course I'd change 'your' to 'you're'. :) Overall, it was a good poem. Usually I look for emotion and heart when reading a poem. This one was good.

Oh wow, what a very sad piece. This poem was full of emotions and such though -- Which kept the poem very alive and real. Well done, I enjoyed the read. 5/5.