What he really was

by Amber   Jul 20, 2008


Please, I don't know how
else to be let lose of
his grip that keeps me
here like a trapped dove.

Pretty soon I'll be his next
victim. I could also be
the lucky victim that
won't be thrown in the sea.

But I doubt it. he has
fun keeping us here.
Torturing us with his
breath of beer.

Whispering in our ear
he will not hurt us but
I know better. I've seen
him with a person he's cut.

I saw how her eyes
were closed. I saw
blood on his face and I
was shocked with awe.

How could these others
not see it? Not see
what he was? With the
others I tried to plea.

I wanted them to know
that he was a sly
vampire who wanted
us all to die.

But none believed and
when I went to tell,
he took me to his
cell.

He bit me, I screamed
while he drank me.
After that I died and
he threw me in the sea.

In the sea I float now,
waiting for his new
victim to join us in
a circle of dead that grew.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by HvN

    Great poem!

    You started off real well, but i think there's a spelling error in the first stanza:

    "Please, I don't know how
    else to be let lose of
    his grip that keeps me
    here like trapped dove."

    isn't there suppose to be a "a" between the words "like" and "trapped"?

    correct me if i'm wrong!

    another error is

    in this stanza:

    "I saw how her eyes
    were closed. I saw
    blood on his face and I
    was chocked with aw."

    I Think the "aw" you meant is spelled "Awe"

    but other then that the poem was really good, doesn't matter how long it is, it tells a good story. :]

  • 15 years ago

    by Invited

    So inspiring and so clear. I just love it and try not to make the poem too long. You have my vote and I hope I have yours!

    4/5

    ~Chinwe~

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