Final line

by Cotton Candy Clouds   Jul 28, 2008


You let your lips linger on mine,
trying to think of a reason to pull away.
Trying to stay strong and keep control,
trying not to let everything turn gray.

There's not even a whisper.
We are not the way we were.
You can't even look me in the eyes?
We both know that I am the one you prefer.

Go ahead, tell those lies,
the ones that keep so many feelings masked.
Are things between us the way you want them?
This was something that was never asked.

Blame it all on me.
I can take it now.
I got used to the bruises.
It's ok, say your vows.

She should know the truth,
but I will keep my mouth shut.
You decided to marry her,
and that leaves the deepest cut.

So she has taken control.
Your heart is no longer mine.
I guess this is our goodbye.
To our story, this is the final line.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by XxBAYBiiGiRLxX

    Very well written!
    it was full of emotion and the flow was great!
    xo

  • 15 years ago

    by Minkus

    5/5. You told this story briefly but effectively. Perhaps one suggestion would be to go into a little more detail, include a little more material, but it might just dilute what you have, so I don't know if it's necessary or even desirable. Another good write!

  • 15 years ago

    by Loved In Hell

    For me personally, it was a little hard to catch on at the beginning, to grasp your concept. (but maybe thats just because i am a little slow)
    But when I got your point I got it. Its so sad to watch something that was once great slip slowly out of your hands.
    What a painful process to have to see the truth come out at you and bite you in the butt.
    The flow was great and you good with imagery.
    5/5
    laura

  • 15 years ago

    by Brittany C

    Hmm, yeah that kind of thing happens however sad it may be. The wording was great and so was the flow. I really enjoyed reading this poem. I'm sure that there are people who could relate to it. Another 5/5.

  • 15 years ago

    by AngelicDecadence

    It is ok, say your vow's.
    "In vow's" the apostrophe is unnecessary. It should just be "vows"
    Also, you might just want it to be "It's" instead of "It is" it makes the reader slow the reading when it isn't needed.
    Great job though, you did a good job expressing your feelings despite the size of the poem, it was very well written.
    5/5
    *Chaotic Angel*

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