Savior of the sun

by Kaila   Aug 18, 2008


The waves crash hard, beating down bad thoughts.
As the rays of sunlight envelop me in their warmth.
The tears dry up, and so do the unwanted feelings.
Eyes opening discovering this new feeling of love.

Confusion takes over, for this feeling has never lasted.
It was consistent like a wave, a quick rush, then gone.
This feeling stayed still like the sand, beneath my feet.
It pushes it's way deeper the further I let it take me.

As my hand grasps the water, this feeling floods in.
I am forever breathing in this new life in front of me.
It grabs at my skin, not satisfied until I am this feeling.
New air enters my lungs as my mind becomes clean.

Never again will I think of how I felt when you left.
That feeling of sorrow is washed away with the waves.
Each and every time I come here they are washed away.
Only to follow me once I reach the cold and empty land.

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  • 14 years ago

    by Annaam

    I like it... The vocab is simple but u've still expressed urself very well... It's also very relateable and true...

    "Never again will I think of how I felt when you left.
    That feeling of sorrow is washed away with the waves.
    Each and every time I come here they are washed away.
    Only to follow me once I reach the cold and empty land."
    --> I really like this ending... U're hopeful and yet there are controversial feelings... as it always gets when one tries to face reality...

    Really good job done! :)
    5/5... Keep It Up! :)

  • 15 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This natural imagery delivers your emotion very well

    great free flow

    I enjoyed reading this

  • 15 years ago

    by Beautiful Forever

    One word: Beautiful! From the flow to the word usage to the concept, this whole poem was beautiful. I loved reading it and it's more deserving than the 5/5 I'm giving it. Keep it up, because this poem was amazing!

  • 15 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    "As the rays of sunlight envelop me in their warmth."
    `This was definatly very well written. Loved the word envelop .. amazing! The first two lines bring a lot of imagery to the reader's mind. Absolutely love how I can picture it while I'm reading the poem.. That's true talent.

    "The tears dry up, and so do the unwanted feelings.
    Eyes opening discovering this new feeling of love."
    `Maybe rephrase as.."The tears dry up as well as the unwanted feelings."

    "Confusion takes over, for this feeling has never lasted."
    `This was pretty plainly said, but I know what it's like to feel this. So well done, I think many of us can relate to a lot of these lines of your poem.

    "It was consistent like a wave, a quick rush, then gone."
    `Amazing simile, although you used wave in the first line.. I still love the thought that went into this one.. consistant is with an a not an e. :]

    "New air enters my lungs as my mind becomes clean."
    `Love it! The confusion has diminished leaving your mind clear and clean!

    "Never again will I think of how I felt when you left.
    That feeling of sorrow is washed away with the waves.
    Each and every time I come here they are washed away.
    Only to follow me once I reach the cold and empty land."
    `I kind of love the optimism in these last few lines.. it's really good to know that those bad thoughts and sorrow will no longer get to you, instead they will be "washed away with the waves."

    Amazing write. I could definatly tell where you were coming from in this poem. Greatly thoughtout poem! Definatly had my attention throughout the entire thing. Well done! 5/5.

  • 15 years ago

    by ether

    Woah I already commented it. My mistake. It's weird comparing the comments, isn't it?