Forgotten Ugly Girl
by a broken smile with a broken heart is a poets life Oct 2, 2008
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Her Face is scarred |
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Latest Comments
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15 years ago
by sezz
Amazing but im not surprised, very great viusal and heart wrenching emotions, easily puts the reader in this persons shoes
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15 years ago
Well done (: Another heart grabbing piece. Short, but packing a ton of raw emotion, and punch. A few things that stood out to me were your use of "resisted abandon." I absolutely love that! Also,
"Her speech disappeared to silence
She walks among the normal
With her head permanently vowed"
That stanza was my favorite. Excellent.
(: -
15 years ago
I have one critique for this piece- you used 'filler-words' -her and she- too many times, and that ruined the natural flow of the poem on some places.
Other than that, this piece is very emotional, truly touching. Your simplistic, non-metaphorical writing style excellently highlights nuances of deep emotions that you obviously put into your writings.
"They point at the ugliness of her heart"
^^^
This line confused me a bit. Till this point, I was sure that you are writing about this character's physical appearance, so this twist was really interesting.
- Her speech disappeared to silence
She walks among the normal
With her head permanently vowed-
^^^
Very interesting stanza, my favorite from the poem.
Overall, good job.
