In The Night Garden

"Shadowed clouds"
`First off, I loved how you described the clouds here. Usually a image left to the imagination but you really used it to set the scene. Excellent use of pathetic fallacy, I can sense what the writer is feeling from the first two words.

Through out the poem you had a flow that was your own, and I really liked that. It worked. Your word choice was sometimes strange, but interesting and it really made the poem.
Your work is very conversational while still being poetic.

"Whispered advice echoes through the silent night. "
`My favourite line. Saying whispered is as good as saying ignored I think, it shows you don't really want to listen..but you can't completely block it out. Well penned.

"Let go."
`Nice, simple ending.

Overall a good poem. (:
Sorry I couldn't go into more depth, don't have a lot of time.

`Lisa

Wild deep dark imagery and your flow flawless

your words took me there

great poem I am speechless

Shadowed clouds of a faded gray linger in the distance.
The silent moon stares intently upon all below.
Lonely rain falls slowly, never hurried, dancing dismally like lost souls on a Sunday afternoon.

^aww.. this was beuaitful i could see ur place in my head. in a way i would call this my world but my world is also has candy. lol

A single white lily lives in this crestfallen garden.

^very imaginie =] i like it

Disconsolate winds cynically disregard the dead, beaten land it steps upon.
The frozen, white wooden fence comes apart slowly, never able to provide much support.

^hmm.. very beautiful. word i wouldnt change them at all.

Memories tick away quickly, longing for something to believe in.

^i completly agree with you here. amazing.. =]

Whispered advice echoes through the silent night.
The yellow grass sways from side to side still, and nothing dares change.

^hmm... change? for sum reason it stnad out to me. like your place wnt change

Everything's blocked out now.
All I hear are those two words of adivce.

Let go.

^it's a different way of ending your poem here. i like it tho. nicely done.

Take CaRe,
Frenchy

Very peaceful and calm flowing <3