Tranquility Smiles {Rictameter}

Very well written poem. Good imagery and good structure... Lovely to read!

YELLOW!!! it was DeEP! I like it! and the tittle choice... very nice=] lol... 5/5

Tranquility Smiles ...
As She Smiles ....
Soaring Petals
^^^
Title suggestions

I really enjoyed reading this piece!
I have always loved the rictameter form, and you have penned a wonderful piece with a perfect syllable count and imagery that holds fast in the mind of the reader.

As the warm, tranquil Western winds
^^^
I personally found that this line reads much better if you remove the "s" on winds. it just seems to follow up with the next word "Blew" of the following line.

Excellent read
Luanne

Hey, here goes. :)

"Petals
Are soaring high
Into the clear, blue sky
As the warm, tranquil Western winds
Blew her sweet, mellow and angelic scent.
The cherub gave me a warm smile
Then she came close to me,
As she caught some
Petals"

Okay. Well I love the words used, such as 'tranquil Western winds' and 'angelic scent'. I love the flow of this rictameter, and how it starts with petals, and ends with petals, like, the petals flowing in the wind, and then at the end she catches them.

Such a beautiful piece. Really loved it. :)

Maybe some title suggestions..

` Catching Petals
` Petals
` Petals in the Wind
` Her Petals

^ Just a few. :)

Hope they are of use. Rofl. :)

Well, like all of your work, brilliantly done.

Definately 5 out of 5.

The image will stick with me, of you standing there, watching her draw nearer, and catching those petals right under your nose. And I think I can smell the petals :)

Haha. But very well done!

All the best,

Nicole

xox