Reflections of Why

Wow! This is amazing! I can also relate to this poem really well at this point in my life. It always helps if the writer can connect with the reader and you have no problem doing that.

"The midnight sky is beautiful
Against the white little snowflakes
That fall gently down upon my head
Healing what's left of this ache"

^^^ The way that you started this poem with imagery but also putting emotions into that imagery is a great way to start out. It sets the scene well for the rest of the poem.

"Ever since you have been gone
I stare into these minor reflections
Of my now fragment findings
Proving that I am haunted by these recollections"

^^^ The only thing I would change here to help the flow is the last line. "Proving I'm haunted by these recollections."

"Those flowers that fell into bloom
Showing me a ray of a distant hope
You holding me ever so loving
Without this I cannot cope"

^^^ The flow of this stanza is perfect. The metaphore that you make between blooming flowers and hope is clear. I think this is my favorite stanza.

"My anger twisting within itself
This madness destroying pieces of me
What was once left of our relationship,
Tortures my soul until the day I'm free"

^^^ Again, the flow in this stanza is perfect. Maybe it's just me and my slight dislexya but I read the third line as "What once was..." I guess it just sounds better in my brain.

"The heat of mid - July's passion
Made us sweat nothing but the hottest fire
It's like I could not live without you
I was lost in our ever- loving desire"

^^^ I was astonished by this stanza. I can connect to it so well, it's exactly how I feel. The flow is good up until the last line. I would put something shorter like "I was lost in our loving desire" or "I was lost in our forever love." With the hyphens, there needn't be a space between the hyphen and the last word. (mid-July's and ever-loving)

"I made my mistakes, and proved my love
You made me whole; you made me complete
But now that you are gone with renewed love
I have only one question, why did you have to cheat?"

^^^ The last line is offing the flow of the stanza just a bit. I would suggest something more of "I have one question: why did you cheat?"

The emotion was portrayed very clearly in your poem. The flow was a little off, but that can be easily fixed. All in all, great job and well done. 5/5

This is a really, really good poem. You did a good job describing and portraying the emotions and you did a wonderful job writing it. I think that the flow needs some work, which is fixed below... but other than that it's wonderful.

The midnight sky is beautiful
Against the white little snowflakes
That fall gently down upon my head
Healing what's left of this ache

[ The midnight sky is beautiful
against the white snowflakes
that fall gently upon my head,
healing what's left of this ache.]

** I took out quite a few small words in this stanza, but I think it helped with the flow and it just sounds better to me.

Ever since you have been gone
I stare into these minor reflections
Of my now fragment findings
Proving that I am haunted by these recollections

[Ever since you've been gone
I stare into the minor reflections
of my now fragment findings,
proving that I'm haunted by these recollections]

** Once again I took out quite a few words and changed it around. I think that with this poem less is more and it also helps with the flow.

Those flowers that fell into bloom
Showing me a ray of a distant hope
You holding me ever so loving
Without this I cannot cope

[ Those flowers that fell into bloom,
showing me a ray of distant hope.
You holding me ever so loving,
without this I cannot cope]

** Not one change, absolutely loved this stanza - it has perfect flow.

My anger twisting within itself
This madness destroying pieces of me
What was once left of our relationship,
Tortures my soul until the day I'm free

[ My anger twisting within itself,
madness destroying pieces of me.
What was once left, now...
tortures my soul until the day I'm free.]

** I changed the last two lines because I thought it sounded better and maybe flowed a little bit better.

The heat of mid - July's passion
Made us sweat nothing but the hottest fire
It's like I could not live without you
I was lost in our ever- loving desire

[ The heat of mid-July's passion
made us sweat the hottest fire.
It's like I couldn't live without you,
I was lost in our ever loving desire.]

** I've noticed that one word in a lot of the lines throws off the flow for the whole stanza, so once again I pulled a word or two out. That's the only problem with this poem to be honest. It has good emotion and great meaning. You've got it portrayed correctly, it just needs work with the flow.

I made my mistakes, and proved my love
You made me whole; you made me complete
But now that you are gone with renewed love
I have only one question, why did you have to cheat?

[ I made my mistakes and proved my love.
You made me whole, you made me complete.
but now that you're gone with renewed love,
I have only one question - why did you cheat?]

** Once again good emotion and such, just a tad off with the flow.

Wow the wording was great. The image the words formed was very vivid. I loved it. The length of the poem was fitting. Hmm, I really see nothing wrong with anything in this poem. I really liked it. I gave it a 5/5.

The midnight sky is beautiful
Against the white little snowflakes
That fall gently down upon my head
Healing what's left of this ache
For the second line , i'd switch little and white around , and take out snow . Everyone should get it and taking that out helps the flow .

Awee . I like the overall idea . It's something easy to relate to . Your words flow easily together .. But theres some rhymes that seem kind of forces and awkward at places . Still 5/5 though .

Bro... that was deep. To express yourself so clearly and make yourself known. I am truely amazed.

Keep on writing i will be checking back to read more of your work soon.

5/5

Vaughn