Festering Feeling

How did we get here?
You gone, without me there.
I was taught to care, i was taught to always be there.
My heart seems to be an open book, one you gladly took.
Now I'm left to pick up the pieces,
Trying to decipher from all these creases.
People tell me I should stop,
but every time I see you, my heart pops.
It breaks and shatters like it did before,
then I go, tumbling to the floor.
I'm trying to act as though my feelings are not there,
because I can feel that you do not care.
As my heart starts to heal,
you then start to kneel.
you come back, every time.
Just to tell me that me and you still rhyme.
I believe your words, I fall for your lies.
Then my soul cries.
Each time I go back,
I get more off track.
I don't know how to shut you off,
I Don't know how to get back on top.
I'm struggling with my mind,
fighting with my heart.
Torn through and through,
I've fallen apart.