Invincible

I LOVE this poem
Keep Writing
and like a stalker lol--->?
i'll be there lol

Invincible, oh how I remember how invincilble I felt as a young man; I thought that nothing could stop me and that I would live forever. The experience of life shatters that illusion for all of us, sadly for some that illusion becomes reality and their lives are taken prematurley. Those left to grieve are then well aware of the fragility of life.

Well done on this poem. The meter was good as was the rhyme scheme.

Michael

Laying a flower at the stone,
I touch a tear near my eye.
I suddenly feel very alone,
But I can't understand why.
Beautiful rhymes and flow here .

I look around to the grief,
The despair, the pity, the pain.
I look around in disbelief:
Mourners in November rain.
Again , very well done for this stanza .

Images begin to fill my head,
Precious life stolen by thieves.
They come from the heavens overhead,
Watching the mother as she grieves.
You're very talented , it really is hard to rhyme lines 1-3 AND 2-4 .

I begin to doubt the meaning of life,
Of how a God can exist like this.
How could He cause this strife,
End this teenager's perfect bliss?
Awee .. This just makes it so much more sad .

She could have saved lives, given the chance,
Death was hovering when she found out.
She wandered for days in a trance,
Her bright future now clouded with doubt.

As she lays in her eternal home,
The crowd begins to leave the scene.
At least she cannot suffer any more,
Pain and life ceasing, at just seventeen.
I would end the poem right here , because it's powerfully sad , and I don't really like the next stanza . Very well done though , 5/5 ~

No more pain to be endured.
We will always remember.
If only it could have been cured.
Thursday, 27th November.