You Left

"Sitting at the beach
with sand everywhere
you turned and looked at me
under the oceans glare"

-Amazing rhyming here, it's not forced, and I like how you set the setting up for the reader.

"You said that you loved me
and that you always would
there were just somethings you had to think through"

-I had to stop reading here, I mean you can physically see this guy doing this, and the way you put this poem with no real structure, ties the whole scene in, and gives it more emotion.

"so you kissed me goodbye
and said not to cry
Because you would come back for me someday"

-I like how you show this side of the guy.....

"but the months passed by
and the years went on
Thats when i knew that you were gone"

.....and then show this side. The last line is an aweseome way to end the poem, because I realize how much she was holding on to him, and it really makes me feel what she felt.

*I like how this poem isn't structured, it lets it flow, the rhyming is well thought out, and the way it's so short, makes it so powerful, many people can't do short poems and make them like that.

5/5

Loved it :)

I'm gonna be honest with you. I like the poems and I loved the talk about the ocean, but unlike "Azzza" I feel that the poem is missing emotons =/ I feel that if you compare more things in your poems they would be much better. Ex. "everything turned black, like the darkest night" or "I was more happy than I've ever been, like the sun was smiling when it was looking down on me".. I know these are not the best examples but something like that :) Otherwise you have talent and I like your writing.. it's 4/5.. The only thing I feel is missing more emotions :) /Ana

=] g00d P0EM.!! i l0VEd iT.!!

I like these poems, they are sad, but they have awesome flow, dont quit.