"Look at me and turn away
Act like I was nothing to you
Kiss her like I don't exsist
Forget all about me"

I really like this stanza, portraying how he/she is just ignoring you and acting like they don't care.

"Kill her, for I am now dead
Love her, let it go to your head
Leave her, just like the rest
Never come back to me"

I'm not sure I understand the first two lines, I understand the second line a little more. But not the first. "Leave her, just like the rest" one of my favorite lines in the whole poem. I hate users, and I'm not completely sure but I think that's what you're trying to portray.

"Hate her as you hate me
Break her heart, like mine is now
Don't care about her, just yourself
Ignore me all the time"

Constructive Critisism: I think the last line you're kind of repeating yourself. I think you were portraying better in the first stanza but it's still really good. The first line of this is very excellent!!

"Lie to her, like you did to me
Cheat on her, she will never know
Forget her, walk out the door
Pretend nothing is wrong"

This was definetly a great way to end it! Especially the last line. "Pretend nothing is wrong" I love it!!

All in all the poem was excellent 5/5<3

SP

The passion in this poem is quite intense and reflects my theory that there are only two types of lovers those who have had their hearts broken and those who are going to have their hearts broken. The first thing that goes out the windows is rules when dealing with the mischief
Of cupid my advice is to leave this one as is
5>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Sounds like a harsh breakup. im sorry to hear this. this poem is really good and i love it. keep up the good work. and forget him. 5/5

Excellent piece, very emotional and full of passion. You portrayed what you really felt well and spoke your true thoughts on it. I enjoyed reading this piece, good wording and emotions. 5/5 from me, take care and keep up the great work!

I like how you penned this. I like the idea of how the protagonist...was once hurt b4 and asking her love to let the other party feel the way that you feel. I can feel the emotions that was going through the poem.Yeah it seriously sux to be cheated on...but then again you dun deserve to be cheated on...you can alway walk away.. Life is made up of choices that we make.I definitely enjoyed reading this.

Excellent Job
5/5

The stanza's fit together well and I like the repetition. The message is really strong, it's a poem full of spite.

I enjoyed reading it and the flow was good.

4/5

I thought the poem had a slight mediocre meaning to it, as I've read many like it several times before... but the fact is that you tried something different with this one, and I think it has an interesting sense of structure to it.

If you felt you wanted to improve it beyond it's threshold I would use much more descriptive adjective and verbs for the starting lines in each stanza. It's only a little revision that can make all the greater difference. I really think that would help this poems content more, and give it a much more intriguing pull.

I would say overall it is a nice piece of work and describes the complexity of a relationship well. Yet I also believe that this poem has a strong potential to elaborate more on the subject.

I like it. It's really sad but u've expressed yourself very nicely.

I agree with RainHidesTearsNotRedFaces, I didn't exactly understand the line
``Kill her, for I am now dead.

``Lie to her, like you did to me
Cheat on her, she will never know
Forget her, walk out the door
Pretend nothing is wrong.
--> Perfect ending! :)

All in all, great job.

5/5
Keep it Up! :)

I liked the first stanza
This poem seemed a bit forced.
It was good though I liked the way it was written. The ending was great I loved the beginning and ending. I kind of understand the second stanza but you should word things a little different great write 5/5

Loved the poem. All except this line:

"Kill her, for I am now dead"

I don't think that is what you actually meant in this verse, but you should still never say it.
And if you did.....Well I hope you didn't.

Outside of that--Your poem was very heartfelt. I read your profile. If it's any consolation (which right now, it's probably not), this is something that you will go through many times in life, before you actually find your lifemate. You are young, boo. You will be loved and hurt many times on this road to love. You appear to have a warm and loving heart though. Keep that, and refuse to settle for anyone who does not give you the love, dignity, and respect you deserve.

Heyy i like this poem even though it doesn't ryhme it sounds awesome the writing really sticks out for me Awesome job!

Awe .. This is really sad . I went through the same thing , so I know how you feel . The message is really powerful , even for someone who hasn't been through it . There's a nice rhythm to your words too .. Really well done . 5/5

Oh this sucks what happen. but i loved it. every single line of it. it's like u can predict what gonna happen to her cuz it happen to you with him. i realie love it. amazing job u done here.
5/5

TaKE CaRe,
Frenchy

...im greatful..i love ur poem..although i reallY THink thAt BeINg a HUmAn We muSt TaKe CHAnCEs EeN we Are REaLLy HUrt...i LOve REAding All YOUr POems..CAn I PRInt SoME of YOUr Works????

-im aPRil Rose

I lovedd this, the way you compare your relationship to the other girls is really effective. You portray emotions amazingly and it is very well written. The ending was great but I also loved this stanza..

"Look at me and turn away
Act like I was nothing to you
Kiss her like I don't exsist
Forget all about me"
^Its like a challenge, very powerful words. Blew me away.

You are a very talented writer and I really enjoyed reading this =]

5/5 for suree

I really liked this one. It's a heartbreaking poem to read. but I liked how you put everything together. so many people have felt this way before. I feel the same way as some parts of this poem too. good stuff. =)

This piece was very nicely written. It was a heartfelt write and a great read. Short and simple but powerful and meaningful. I like how you started the poem, it really caught my attention. I also like the story behind the poem, it's relateable, to me anyway. . The only thing i didn't like was the uneven flow. But over all 5/5

This was really sad, though you have a gift for words i really enjoyed this one good job

I enjoyed the fast paced scene you created here and how you were "telling" him to do these things because he had already done them. I do think it was a bit repetitive and kinda cliche but yet another good vent poem with a lot of potential. The language was a bit simple, maybe you can try experimenting with new things, it will help you grow as a writer. I could tell this one also came from your heart because you packed it wil emotion my only advice is try stepping out of the box and try new things.

GREAT POEM!
this relates to a situation a had once :/