Day Dreaming

Wow...this one was so beautiful. I love the imagery here and how it continues with each stanza. I love your style. Everything flows well. I wouldn't change a thing. Keep it up. Shanik

Wow...this one was so beautiful. I love the imagery here and how it continues with each stanza. I love your style. Everything flows well. I wouldn't change a thing. Keep it up. Shanik

"Order from chaos illuminate from the dark
As the effect of time leaves its eternal mark
Mind in matter or is it the matter in the mind
That compels us to search for the truth we find?"

^^ these words are so beautifully penned... deep and powerful ... something to ponder on ... I read this stanza so many times and each time the feeling it conveys become strong ...

"When I look past the clouds blue sky is all I see
Turn from the sun as the earth does, it is just a way"
^^
wonderful write ... looking at the future with bright eyes ... the last stanza teaches us to dream a beautiful dream for a new future :)

keep writing...

"Infinite celestial suns in infinite spaces"
- It makes sense, it fits, all of the above. Except.. I don't like it. I don't like the repeated 'infinite' in the same line. Not a bad line though. Eh

"Mind in matter or is it the matter in the mind"
- This line I do like (: I figured I'd let you know, because it is repeated and I still like it.
And, there was one other line with 'heaven' repeated but it wasn't bad either. I guess since 'infinite' was as powerful as it was that it didn't sound right to me

Overall a great poem. Well written, great flow, all of the above. Err. Not overall, it is a great poem. Period. It's great. I loved it. Absolutely.