The thoughts of everything I have done,
The images of the faces I have hurt,
They fall and trip while running in my head,
I torture myself through and through.
Apologies written with words won't cut it,
I'm afraid that I won't get over this,
Even if the people have forgiven me,
I still feel guilty for what I did.
Picture frames of family members on walls,
Smiling; eyes squinting and teeth showing,
School pictures always use to be fun,
At the same time I still want to cry.
I'm kind of possibly a nervous wreck inside,
Hoping that this Dr. Pepper will mend my heart,
While eating this bag of crunchy chips,
I still want to break down and cry.
Is going to church every Sunday going to help?
If I ask for HIS forgiveness will it work?
Maybe I should get anointed and pray,
That maybe someday I will be okay.
I'm angry for letting people walk in and out;
Come and go just as they very well please,
My life isn't some art gallery full of paintings,
It's more than that and you'll soon find out.
Experience after experience- I should've learned,
At least by now you'd think I would know,
I'm completely blind, and oblivious to everything,
I don't know anymore other than to just live.
Living my life day to day by the day,
Is something I am working on as you read,
But I want the world and stars to know,
That I am deeply sorry for what I've done.
This is only a quarter of the long list,
Of things that are keeping me up,
I hope you know by now not to live-
While you're sitting on the floor of your past.
