Closest Thing to Crazy

Okay. This piece had so many odds and ends that weren't done up properly, it made my head hurt.

The first stanza was fine. Very weak, but otherwise, it was okay. Except for the "has." That isn't needed.

The second one:
"Though consciences these days,
are useless little things.
Forgotten in your mind,
like a worthless piece of string."
^
How did this transition come about? You go from talking about voices in your head vanishing with a final blow(which, you don't tell what the blow is/was) to talking about consciences. Where's the introduction to this? It read very choppy.

I liked the paradox in the first line of the third stanza: "futile helping hand." A bit overused, but a nice factor to incorporate.

The fourth stanza.....flow was completely off. Also, instead of saying "the one thing that I need," you should expand and state was that "thing" was. As a friend once told me, "Thing" is a horrible word to use in poetry and should be avoided at all costs. Oh, and you have verb disagreement here. You say "got rid of," which is past tense, and then switch to "need," which is present tense. It should be "needed" in order to grammatically make sense.

I don't think the quotations in the second line of the next stanza worked at all. If you're going to have "That's what life's about, right?" as your first line, then it would make more sense for the next line to be: "Always following the crowd?" instead of : " 'Always follow the crowd'?" Fourth line: 'to' should be 'too.'

The last stanza was also weak. I don't think the last two lines had quite the impact you wanted them to. I would suggust replacing it with something stronger.

Overall, I think this has potential. I advise polishing it a bit; no poem is perfect as soon as it's written, and revising is your friend. I think I might take a look at some of your other work as well. I won't bother rating this, because I don't like downvoting, and I only vote if I think it's worth a five. Let me know if you decide to revise/edit this.

Skye

"You can't be in the spotlight,
you cannot be to loud."
In the second line of this, "to" should be "too"

"Though consciences these days,"
Maybe add a comma here:
"Though, consciences these days,"

This was great! I loved the way you portrayed your conscious as a object or person you "have", like you can truly lose it, instead of simply ignoring it. Too many people do this, and it causes so much more trouble.. *sigh* well, this was well done, it made the reader think in a different manner.. i always love that.
5/5