Alone on valentines day

by Love is a Beautiful Thing   Feb 15, 2009


It's valentines day
So listen to what I'm about to say
Those of you who are alone
With no one to call your own
Those who are hurt
And feels like dirt
You want to scream
Cause it feels like no one is on your team
It starts to get dim
But still you feel you can win
Now as it gets dark
You are barely leaving a mark
Then to your surprise
You realize
That perfect one will come in time
That one that will be there for you at the drop of a dime

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by BraidhairCutie

    Very nicely put!...I like it.

  • 15 years ago

    by D Jon Versatino

    Yea, I love this!

  • 15 years ago

    by LiveLoveLearnDie

    I liked this poem as it gives facts to those who were alone and allows many different emotions out at one time. However, I felt that in some parts the rhyming was forced.

    "Cause it feels like no one is on your team"
    I feel this line should be changed to having Feel instead of feels so it makes sense and also because you are still writting about the previous sentence where you mentioned "those".

    Good job though. :)

    Natalia

  • 15 years ago

    by isabel

    I really like this poem... It actually fits me :(
    and it has an intersting structure...
    The message is really good and I like the rhythm of it...
    Yet maybe you could change a thing or two...

    in:
    Those who are hurt
    And feels like dirt

    It would actually be "feel", because you are still writing about "those"
    I might also agree with Hollymariee:
    "And were treated like dirt"
    And you could also write:
    "They feel like dirt"

    The last sentence seems also a bit too long and i don't seem to get it... You mean, it will happen fast, or ... ?

    Your writing is simple yet it fits the idea of the poem itself... You mean it like a message, i think...

    *keep it up*
    isabel

  • 15 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This lyrical poems touches me for I spent valentines day alone

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