Empty Open Road.

I look at the empty open road before me and wonder how I got here, How in the hell I became who I am, and how to decide which way to go.

I could go back of course to the life I once lived. To the people who hurt me and to the lie I called love. I could go back to the same friends with their endless parties and random hookups. I could wake up every day and enjoy my perfect and enviably fake life I lived. I could pick up my cell phone and dial the same person I turned to just for the fun of being hurt. I could get so sloshed I would forget this road and my wrong choices and just slip back into the pathetic and hopeless dream I had that my perfect lie of who I was fooling everyone. Including myself.

Or

I could pick up my life and leave it all behind. Everything. Be clean and hopeful. And maybe even happy. I could stop pretending that things were okay and maybe just maybe take a real chance at love. Maybe I could go a day without crying or taking a swig out of my water bottle which was not water and only had every lie surrounding it. Maybe I could breathe. Maybe I could become something or someone I could face everyday in the mirror. Maybe I could be a person that I was scared of being because of how much work it would take. Maybe I will take the rough road. Maybe I would challenge myself.

A whole lot of maybes stand in my way of making a choice. But as that empty road started to look more peaceful than scary I chose which way to go.

If your wondering I decided that a whole bunch of maybes was worth working for in my life than a whole bunch of lies saying yes.