I Should've

I should've done a lot of things in this thing I call life; things are as familiar as blood to a knife. I should've gotten a few things that seemed to have been coming to me.....I should've been jumped, should've been shot, I should've cried, I should've died. I should've felt like I belonged with some people I call friends, but not even they understood me in the end. I should've slept, I should've wept, I should've been adept and not inept in the work that was my craft. I should've cared, I should've shared, I should've opened to those who meant something to me. But the decisions that I have made will have to stay and let be......But there are two sides to one coin for the decisions that have been made. I shouldn't have been scarred and corrupted at so early of an age, scared to go outside because of the disruption and disarray. But went outside anyway with people, so called friends, when true intentions were found out there seemed to be no stopping the end. Not being let in on the joke, that's not how someone's arm should bend.....being punched, kicked, and broken inside something grew oh so terrible, the pain I felt was just unbearable. Exploding on each individual as if he has no sense; blood, sweat, and tears put into each fighting effort. But little did I know something grew in the time spent, he needed something to remember it, a SCAR......like Dent. Why did such a side have to rear its ugly head, but in truth without it......I Should've Been Dead.......