Ghost

This is a much better piece. I especially liked the closing line. It was very strong and poetic. It was by far my favourite art of the piece.

Brad

Goosebumps. That's all I can say about this piece. It was just so erie, and alive. It flowed really well also.

Years have passed and the road is still the same
Little girls run away... They remember your name
You feel her breath in the sorrowful breeze
Listening to uneasy steps, you begin to freeze
...The little girls running was my favorite part and gave a clear picture to me.

You used to laugh at the girls shaggy hair
Distorting their reflection with your mean stare
And now that death took her, you feel so alone
Imagining you can listen to her heart-breaking moan
...The heart-breaking moan part got to me. Obviously you read my last piece and it reminded me of that and just gave me chills.

A ghostly reminder of a creeping sound
And you see yourself, falling to the ground
Her face is appearing on your broken mirror
She wants to remind you of your cruel error
...I enjoyed this stanza. But I don't know if mirror and error really rhyme? They didn't sound well to me.

A hallucination crawls through your every vein
Do you know that your heartfelt regret is in vain?
In her shattered heart, you see a crimson red hole:
"An eye for an eye, and a soul for a soul"
...The ending qoute was brilliance. I have no more to say

Definitly a 5/5 for me

A very dark poem but very good 5/5