A Summer Plateau

by Italian Stallion   Mar 10, 2009


Dreary delta dorsal devoid,
vivid vadantes vade vapidly.
Summers superfluous superheat
eluding eclipse effectively.

© Copyright 2009 By: Italian Stallion

*Written for a contest*

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by PygmyPuff

    Hmmm. I love how there is the alliteration, it does make such a short poem very deep. I expeccially like how V and E are used, since V is rare, and although E is common it has a strange sound, and doesnt always make the same sound. Its a bit hard to distinguish, i had to read it twice. The verbs dont pop out that much, so I had trouble making sense of it before i looked up words and realised what they meant. Once I got that I liked it a lot, but it seemed like a lot of workd for a poem, lol

  • 15 years ago

    by Cindy

    Good luck on the contest Joe. Awesome word choice and imagery in this piece.
    Take Care
    Cindy

  • 15 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    Wow, now this is like a tongue-twister, definitely. It was fun to read - not in the sense that I enjoyed it [even though I did!] but it was fun because I was amusing myself seeing how quickly I could see each line!

    "Dreary delta dorsal devoid,"

    ^^ This first line paints such a horrid, dull picture, of dreary life and withered nature.

    I was therefore happily surprised and intrigued when the sunshine came along, and we were introduced to such lovely detailed descriptions of sunshine in all its glory:

    "Summers superfluous superheat
    eluding eclipse effectively."

    ^^ Beautiful! <3

  • 15 years ago

    by Sourav

    Well, you've used strong words... seems words are just eating up the lines. Sometimes I feel we should use simpler words to express.
    Otherwise it's a well written poem.

  • 15 years ago

    by Nightmare Fiend

    Wow! As someone said above me, i noticed it was so short! But what you did with it was perfect!

    I liked how it was short and sweet yet the words you used we're so..vivid and imaginative that it made me think of what you were describing and actually imagining it!

    Wonderful
    5/5