"Brain blown" these specific words really grab the audience, you used two 'shock' words and they 'pop' to a readers eyes.

I like the very vivid imagery that you started with and then lead slowly into a nice transition. You had wonderful imagery, almost to a tee! because of the fact that you had colors relating to the scene.

Very well done, you write a beyond your age.

5/5

Wow just wow I loved it....the title alone draws you in...its so unique and very descpritive how you describe the different "battle" wounds and scarrs was beautiful in a twisted way. I also feel the same way people they simply just stick there heads in the ground like ostricted and ignore and wait till things get so bad they are inrepairable its sick really how people can just ignore the horrors of the world
anyways back to your poem well done bravo it was so beautifully written it just was so amazing i was sad for it to be so short but thank you for posting it! <33 5/5

This is amazing.
I loved it, it was so sad and powerful,
you have a beautiful talent m'love x

Wow-brilliant use of imagery here-very intense, well structured and well written.
Nice rhythm and flow except the rhyme pattern was different in 2nd stanza to the others-dot know if that was on purpose.

Also in the 1st line-is it supposed to be "the glass SHATTERS across the floor"? think ur missing an s-typo =P

besides than absolutely brilliant-
an easy 5/5

aish
xx

A superbly penned piece.The imagery was great and, the words used in the description of this realitybased scene was perfect.
Keep up the good work.
Paul...

Wow this is a brilliant poem its so amazing it has a lot of emotion flowing through it too and i loved the imagery as well a job well done :) 5/5

Your AABB rhyme scheme dissapeared in the 2nd stanza. Just a heads up.

The strong imagery confused me for a second while I was reading your poem, but once I figured it out it inhanced your work rather than depleat it.

Great wording and amazing poem

Thanks for the read
<-Spirit-<

The glass shatters across the floor,
Feet shuffling covers glistening panels more,
Crimson red magnified by dread,
And yet despite lapses of color, its in no one's head.

*Wow...this is such a strong way to start a poem. I know what's going on and the way you describe it makes me want to find out why. I love the imagery. You use it well*

Gunshot, bullet echoes through the night
Yet no one's heart shakes in fright.
Help them or save them scream their pleas.
Yet no one cares at all tonight.

*I love that you don't die down here. This stanza is just as intense as the first. I love the flow...makes it so much easier to read*

Blood splattered on a crystal clear surface,
Crystal clear image, events in rapid place.
Soles of feet carrying glass and cuts
Yet no one thinks, ignoring skewered guts.

*Amazing diction here. This is turning into a very deep piece. I'm loving how you express your feelings. You don't hold back*

Brain blown, splattered upon the wall,
Always tried to stand so tall.
Will they care, will they not?
Am I important enough, worth a thought.

*Aww what a sad ending. I was not expecting this. I'd care :). But you have such a unique way with words. Very very nice work. Nik*

Aww wow this poem is very emotional and direct, the flow was nice and the rhymes were good.
A sad but well written poem well done

xoxo
5/5

The glass shatters across the floor,
Feet shuffling covers glistening panels more,
Crimson red magnified by dread,
And yet despite lapses of color, its in no one's head.

** The opening stanza is very random. It doesnt really seem to follow any type of logical order or subject. It was confusing to me trying to picture the image of the poem. It was good until the "ITS IN NO ONE'S HEAD". That line really confused me.

** The second line was oddly written. With three back to back to back verbs ( shuffling / covers / glistening) threw off the flow. Likewise, the third sentence states CRIMSON RED, which is redunant. Crismson is a shade of red.

Gunshot, bullet echoes through the night
Yet no one's heart shakes in fright.
Help them or save them scream their pleas.
Yet no one cares at all tonight.

** This stanza is better written. I think the first line sounds better as GUNSHOTS ECHO THROUGH, but thats just my opinion. The third line was kind of awkward, maybe it could use more punctuation.

Blood splattered on a crystal clear surface,
Crystal clear image, events in rapid place.
Soles of feet carrying glass and cuts
Yet no one thinks, ignoring skewered guts.

** I like this stanza overall, but I did not like that you used CRYSTAL CLEAR two times so close together.

Brain blown, splattered upon the wall,
Always tried to stand so tall.
Will they care, will they not?
Am I important enough, worth a thought.

** Again, I liked this stanza (probably the best of the poem) but the first two words are odd. At the very least, it should read BRAINS BLOWN, but i think that BLOWN should be replaced with a more powerful word like SKEWED, DISPLAYED or SHATTERED ( I really like SHATTERED followed by SPLATTERED).

** OVerall, this is a good poem. I few issues with too many / not enough words, but still good. I think you should try to add better imagery by using more POWERFUL words, but that will come in due time.

This was really good. Sad and scary all in 1. It had a deep and emotional effect on u. I liked the rhyming. But in the 2nd stanza u kinda lost the rhyme scheme a little but u picked it up again in stanza 3. And u lost it just a little in stanza 4. But all in all the poem was good. I'll still give it a 5/5 bcuz it was good just a little off the rhyming but that's fine. My favorite stanzas were 2 and three but my favorite part was in stanza 2:

Gunshot, bullet echoes through the night
Yet no one's heart shakes in fright.

I don't know y that was my favorite part. I guess bcuz it was so real and scary. I really loved that part. 5/5

Overall, I think you have a nice idea/start for a poem here, but it read kind of all over the place to me. The language was choppy, and (in my opinion) your ideas didn't quite come all the way across, if you know what I mean. If you made some adjustments to the word choice, and perhaps expanded -- it would be a lot stronger.

"The glass shatters across the floor,
Feet shuffling covers glistening panels more,
Crimson red magnified by dread,
And yet despite lapses of color, its in no one's head."
^The second line makes no sense to me at all. x( Could just be that I'm reading it wrong, but I have no idea what its meaning is...the three consecutive verbs made it read uneven, and caused the image to be fuzzy. I liked the first line, and "feet shuffling covers," those are fine images, but as I said, I don't know what you intended with "glistening panels more." I would play with that a bit. The third line is nice, and the beginning of the fourth (up to the comma) but "it's in no one's head" was random, seemed more stuck in for the sake of rhyming than to enhance the piece. Were you going for a cinematic effect up to there? As in, trying to describe a scene so vibrant that it seems unreal? If so, that's a good idea, but it didn't fully flourish...making the last few words of the first stanza confusing and out of place.

"Gunshot, bullet echoes through the night
Yet no one's heart shakes in fright.
Help them or save them scream their pleas.
Yet no one cares at all tonight."
^I would switch the words 'bullet' and 'gunshot,' as to me that makes much more sense linguistically. A bullet itself cannot echo, however the sound of a gunshot can. Perhaps write it as 'Bullet's gunshot...' or just 'Bullet, gunshot...' Also the next few lines are a contradiction to each other, ..I think I can see your intention, but again it's a matter of the framework not being there, .. the story and viewpoint ought to be elaborated on.

"Blood splattered on a crystal clear surface,
Crystal clear image, events in rapid place.
Soles of feet carrying glass and cuts
Yet no one thinks, ignoring skewered guts."
^I liked the repetition of 'crystal clear,' it was strong, and connected. 'Ignoring skewered guts' actually kind of made me chuckle! In a good, morbid, way. Haha. :D It's lightheartedly talking about something so wrong, and dark. Nicely done.

"Brain blown, splattered upon the wall,
Always tried to stand so tall.
Will they care, will they not?
Am I important enough, worth a thought.?"
^A good ending, I like poems that end with a question. (: Now was this about a suicide, or a murder? I'm leaning towards suicide, and if that's the case I think you have the works for a really solid poem here, it just needs some tweaking. You used some powerful words and such, don't be afraid to branch out even farther, and ELABORATE on your story.

Good work, and keep writing down the bones!

I have to actually read it twice for me to get the write meaning behind it. It's not because it wasn't written well, but I am not use to dark poems like that. But I can honestly tell that this piece was something that inspires me to read more. The last two lines change the whole set up, became vivid and it turned out, related to you. So I think it made the poem more dramatic which is good.

This was a very good poem that was written in a good form. The imagery you give in your poem was pretty good and the rhyming was good but seemed a little forced in some areas. The emotion cab be felt in this poem and it was great. The poem overall was good and hope you keep writing.

Though the imagery is darkly disturbing, I feel this poem hit what you were aiming for. Overall very well written and intense

Wow this is really good its really desciptive the imagery is perfect i liked the ending it slowed it down and brought it to reality like going in and out of shellshock the structure is very well laid out for the context of the poem its laid out evenly

well done

This is really good, love the ending, it ties the whole thing together!! Keep up the great work!

Well the poem was very sad indeed. I like the words you used in the poem. Well done.

The flow was smooth from start to end.

The glass shatters across the floor,
^ excellent opener. It has a 'frightening' tone in it.

Gunshot, bullet echoes through the night
^ I like the imagery here. The use of 'hearing senses' is good.

Help them or save them scream their pleas.
Yet no one cares at all tonight.
^ Great 'emotions' in these two lines.

Blood splattered on a crystal clear surface,
Crystal clear image, events in rapid place.
Soles of feet carrying glass and cuts
Yet no one thinks, ignoring skewered guts.
^ Best stanza in my opinion. Everything in this stanza was perfect. Good job.

Will they care, will they not?
^ I like the use of 'question' for the final two lines.

Am I important enough, worth a thought.
^ Good assonance (I'm not sure if that's what it's called. - sorry if I'm wrong

Its a really creative style of writing, i enjoyed this.

Just like I expected.... Fantastic again.. hehe