Forsaken

by Frozen hearT   Jun 1, 2009


You wreck my love and vacate my heart
Leave me solidifying into gold of dust
Snipping arrow from the back till the start
Make it painless to snivel till lust

If I were you,
I'll run till death
If I were you,
I vanish from creation

It's such a throw
And such a waste
A love that's been given
For the sake of lies

You snatch my breath and puncture my lungs
Made me a rack right from the start
Spewing bullets from the beginning till there's no end
Leaving me in pain, moaning from my heart

If I were you,
I'll run till death
If I were you,
I vanish from creation

It's such a throw
And such a waste
A love that's been given
For the sake of your lies

Emir 1st June 09 (Monday)

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by The Queen

    You wreck my love and vacate my heart
    Leave me solidifying into gold of dust
    Snipping arrow from the back till the start
    Make it painless to snivel till lust
    ^I think it would be better if it was dust of gold, as gold of dust doesn’t represent anything, But I understand you have to rephrase as it will be out of rhyme. Oh it doesn’t matter as you need to change the word lust as well it dint fit much with the heart and it having pains.

    I have noticed you dint follow any rhyme scheme so I guess it is safe to change it without changing the word lust. This already is a good piece coming from you, they were just my opinions and not necessarily to follow.

  • 14 years ago

    by Good Enough

    Wow this poem is really deep. I love the flow.i can see u worked hard on this poem. Good job.