Tale of a Thousand Dreams

Aww, what a sweet poem! Great job, very good.

I really like the title, it was unique and caught my eye.

"The rising moon and the sleeping sun
Has told a tale of a thousand dreams
Of true love, of a couple together as one
All seems perfect under the bright warm beams"

First line: I love how you described the moon and sun. "sleeping sun" was just beautiful.

Second line: Great how you put the title into this piece.

Third line: I didn't really like how you repeated "of", maybe just change to this:

"Of true love, a couple together as one."

Fourth line: This was a good ending line, but I didn't like "bright warm" to describe beams. I thought those two words were just a bit cliche. That's just my opinion though.
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"Found each other not so long ago
reached for the forbidden fruit of temptation
But what the young man didn't seem to know
Are the consequences of his past obligation"

First line: Good job so far, this is a emotion filled piece.

Second line: Wonderful wording here, I loved how you said "forbidden fruit of temptation".

Third line: This is an interesting write so far, very descriptive you are in your words.

Fourth line: Maybe instead of "Are" at the beginning you could change it to "Was". To me it would sound better. I did like this part though, carry on.
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"To love forever, through thick and thin
Through pain and sorrow, happiness and joy
All surrounds the one feeling within
The big love they shared, no one can destroy"

No suggestions here except in the last line where I felt "big" was not the right word, it just didn't fit, maybe use a synonym? Otherwise, very heartfelt words...
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"She was experienced, in all life's twisted ways
Found and lost, and yet found once more
She fell for the young men, fell for his heart
Loved him to her very essence, to her unstable core"

First line: Great descriptions as I said before.

Second line: It is good she was found once again.

Third line: Here I do like the repeat of "fell" it added a nice touch.

Fourth line: "unstable core" was unique, nice work so far.
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"All wanted to take it, the forbidden fruit
But one thing always enraged to their aid
While they're together, their strong and firm root
Will let no curious intruder invade"

First line: No suggestions, this was good.

Second line: I felt "enraged to their aid" was very well worded, caught my eye.

Third line: No suggestions, I liked how you described their love, strong and firm root.

Fourth line: That is good to know, I liked "curious intruder invade", very good imagery.
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"Yet, after all those gestures and thoughts
I still feel as something is not always right
How did I won this amazing person's heart
Without a strife, or any kind of a fight"

Just add a question mark at the end of that last line and this stanza will be perfect. The rhyming and flow here was right on target and got me thinking too what you were thinking.
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"For that I'm grateful, for everything we share
Through thick and thin, happiness and ache
I'll do anything for her, everything I can bare
Just for her to be happy, just for her sake"

I didn't like in the second line that you repeated "thick", "thin" and "happiness", maybe change it up a bit? Make it a bit different but still giving off the same message. Otherwise, this was a heartfelt ending showing how much you care. Such powerful words.

4/5 from me, I felt a bit of work needs to be done but your message was striking to the reader and touched them.

Keep writing, never give that up, take care.

~MaryAnne