Reality (Acronym)

by Liquid Dreams   Jun 29, 2009


Ragged girl sprawled on the ground
Each sad tear comes running down
All truth she knew was ripped away
Lies she heard had led her astray
Innocent girl is now broken hearted
Too many times her true love had departed
Young girl left to die alone.

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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    I like how you rhyme on this one and Acrostic is one of my favourite form of poetry..

    a very sad piece with a tragic ending.. poor girl :(

    Gel

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    I think Nik said it all.
    All I can say though is I like how you rhyme this because usually these forms are not rhymed so well done on that.
    Em

  • 13 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Ragged girl sprawled on the ground

    *I like that you said "sprawled" I don't see that word used much.*

    Each sad tear comes running down

    *Instead of "running" I'd say something like falling or streaming maybe even pouring. Running seems weird in this context*

    All truth she knew was ripped away

    *This line didn't sound write when I read it. Maybe and "the" before "truth" so that it'll flow better.*

    Lies she heard had led her astray

    *Had should be have. Since you already said heard and led we know it's past tense, saying had just makes it sound weird*

    Innocent girl is now broken hearted
    Too many times her true love had departed

    *same thing here had should be have*

    Young girl left to die alone.

    *I really liked this poem. I felt the emotional content was very deep and profound. Keep writing :] -Nik*