Awaiting Prince Charming

Hmm....
well i rlly liked this poem:]
it flows well and i can see the feelings u put into it:]
maybe you coulda had done better but i still
like it:]
well keep on writting:)
5/5

A very nice poem, though there is one thing that I noticed wrong:

Brushing her hair a million times,
so the prince will fall in love with thee.

'Thee' does not really fit in that sentence since you are talking about the princess, and 'thee' usually signifies 'you' as when speaking to someone, not talking about someone. Overall a nice poem.

Your title was very cliche and did not catch my eye at all, try making your title something that is not in the poem and is creative and unique.

"She awaits for her prince charming,
to come galloping down the trail.
She's read he will be quite the suitor,
and as a lover he will never fail."

Okay, the flow here is right on target and it is very smooth in the rest of this piece, nice job with that. I did not like the second line, as "galloping" threw me off. If you are talking about how the prince is riding a horse that is galloping, then you need to make that clearer, but when I read this I thought he himself, the prince, was galloping, and it threw me off. I would reword this line if I were you.

I did really like the rest of the lines, "suitor" was a nice word to use, and this was very sweet.

"She's prepared for days on end,
for her courting gentleman soon to be.
Brushing her hair a million times,
so the prince will fall in love with thee."

I really liked this part, it made me smile. Each line is filled with such love for the other one, and you portray those emotions beautifully. I suggest changing "the prince" to "he" as Temps said, or another synonym for prince.

"The day her prince was to arrive,
everything was majestically set.
One, two, three hours past,
and he had not shown his face yet."

That word "majestically" was used wonderfully here, and I liked how you talked about the time passing too.

In the third line, "past" should be changed to "passed".

"She waited and waited for years,
for her soul mate to come around.
Soon this desolate princess didn't know,
if her lost soul could be re-found."

Okay, in the first line, "waited" was very cliche and I though you could grab the reader more in this line. It was just too boring, be more creative and original. The third line I would just delete the "soon", it didn't fit when I read it. Also, the repeat of "soul" threw me off and I think you could find a synonym in place. I did like the rhyming though, that was really good.

"The princess passed while waiting,
for this prince to show loves fate.
On the day of her blessed funeral,
the prince was no longer late."

This was an alright ending, it didn't strike me or touch me in any way. Overall, this was an okay poem, definetly not my favorite. You repeated "prince" way too much, there are many other words you can use instead of repeating prince all the time. The flow and rhyming was flawless, but your creativity and uniqueness did not show at all, this was just extremely cliche. Use unique pharses and word things differently to stun the reader and take their breath away. Put your imagination to the test. I would take some time to rewrite this piece and add more surprise and twists to it. I just didn't feel anything from it.

Take care and God bless you.

~MaryAnne

Title - to be honest I thought it was really cliche, so it really didnt attract my attention like I was hoping but I will give you my honest thoughts on your piece anyways.

'She awaits for her prince charming,
to come galloping down the trail.
She's read he will be quite the suitor,
and as a lover he will never fail.'
`The usage of galloping I didnt like, because I dont think youre talking about a horse.. are you? I would think it would be a person and not an animal.

'She's prepared for days on end,
for her courting gentleman soon to be.
Brushing her hair a million times,
so the prince will fall in love with thee.'
`I think you could replace 'the prince' with 'he'.. gets rid of unnecessary repetition

'The day her prince was to arrive,
everything was majestically set.
One, two, three hours past,
and he had not shown his face yet.'
`To be it seems like you're changing the tense here. Which threw me off. But as I continued to read it made sense. On the day he was supposed to arrive, you ended up waiting and he didnt arrive. I think it would be best to change 'past' to passed?

'She waited and waited for years,
for her soul mate to come around.
Soon this desolate princess didn't know,
if her lost soul could be re-found.'
`I think that your story here is a bit cliche, but the rhyme was a plus for me, your poem flows nice.

'The princess passed while waiting,
for this prince to show loves fate.
On the day of her blessed funeral,
the prince was no longer late.'
`I think you're being way too repetitive with 'prince' and 'waiting' in this poem, I think you could reword your stanzas so that repetition wouldnt rule your poem.. cause that kind of ruined it for me personally.

Not your best, I know I havent read your poems in a while, but I didnt find this to be my favorite. I didnt find anything original in it and think that some things could be changed, mainly the repetition. I think your flow was good, but that was almost the only positive thing I could find with this piece. I think this needs work and it could be improved. Good luck.