Count.
by ghosts in bloom Jul 30, 2009
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One. Two. Three. Four. I'm counting my steps out the door, before you turn me back around. Persuasion rests atop your fingers, which dance along my skin -- painting trails of shameful desire. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. How much farther? I'm late to see my lover. I see in your eyes the eyes of another; a reflection of each other. Where am I between these seas? Caught in the tide of two hearts seeking mine. Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve. I've given up on myself. |
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Latest Comments
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14 years ago
I wish I could go more in depth on this one, but theres nothing much to say. I loved the counting thing, Ive only seen that once before on this site. You managed to keep a great steady flow. I loved 'painting trails of shameful desire' - awesome wording! Wow what I can say, marvelous write - the ending was sad in a way, nobody would like to ever be stuck between two people.. having to choose one is probably not the easiest decision! My only curiousity was why did you count up to 12..? The significance behind this number is a mystery to me. ;] I like that though, gets me thinking! Well done Nova!
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14 years ago
by Good Enough
I liked this poem. i really like the structure cause it goes well with the flow :) for some reason it reminds me of a nursery rhyme thts kinda twisted. i like it :)
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14 years ago
Wow Novalyn, that was a great write. The flow was excellent, the structure I wasn't too keen on, but that is okay due to the fact that this was emotion packed and well written. You have lots of talent my dear, keep up the fantastic work.
Peace, Joe
