Holding On.

Overlooking the brightness of your smile,
The darkness of the shadows settles in.
Heart racing, floor pacing, thoughts racing,
Suddenly the bubble's protection is too thin.

Eyes blinded by the mind and the heart,
Fighting, scratching to reach the far surface.
While stealthy holding onto the depths of the dark;
This fight for survival has become a never ending race.

Loved ones gather around a suffering soul,
Pleading for the familiar strength the run through.
The newsflash runs across all of their fragile faces -
Through the storm, everything was lost to all of you.

While the body moves in a slow moving trance,
Sluggish, worn down, ready for the end to be near -
The heart connects with an unexplainable love;
That reawakens the lost soul and replaces it with a fear.

A fear of happiness.
A fear of love.
A fear of self-hatred.
A fear of vulnerability.

Too far in to escape the simplicity his arms;
Refusing to let go of the love that's now been found.
Nine years on a roller coaster- finally coming to a halt,
And here I am silent, broken, lost - without a sound.

To hold on or to not hold on?
Their eyes hold the answer,
And now, I know as well.

July 31, 2009
(c) Stephanie Lynn.