The Perfect Blue.

The perfect blue
Is not a shade, nor tone,
But you -

*Hmm this is an interesting start. It makes me wonder how a person can be the color blue. Good :)*

In equal measure,
A sad smile
And a smiling tear.

*I would rewrite these last lines like
"A sad smile
a smiling tear
both equal parts of you."

That seems to flow better to me. But that's just ideas :) *

You surrender
To dying nights
Yet stay away from dawns,

*I like this..but I would change the last line to
"Yet you draw away
from living dawns"

That way you have a kinda pattern. But I like what you were saying. Very creative.*

Afraid
Of touching a drop of dew
Lest it bursts,
And the colors of a sun

*I'd say "the sun" instead of " a sun" Doesn't make much sense to me because there is only one sun*

Or its tender kiss -
Wash off all darkness
And the color of your wings.

*I really liked this stanza. I saw some very original lines and beautiful images.*

Pain is poetic,
For what is sadder than a rainbow,
That has no blue?

*Awww :( flawless ending!!! I think you did a very well job with this. Your ideas are clear and also emotional. I enjoyed this alot. Keep it up hun :) Nik*

"Wow" is all that is coming to mind.

Very strong, and flowed effortlessly.

The closing lines were my favorite of the poem, however each line had its own individual strength

Great Job! keep writing

-Zack

"The perfect blue
Is not a shade, nor tone,
But you -"

This was a very unique opening, it wasn't cliche at all, but you had me reading me.

"In equal measure,
A sad smile
And a smiling tear."

I did not like how you said "smile" and "smiling" in the same stanza. Maybe use a synonym.

"You surrender
To dying nights
Yet stay away from dawns,"

This was uniquely written, your wording created much imagery and held a lot of meaning.

"Afraid
Of touching a drop of dew
Lest it bursts,"

Great usage of that word "lest", it fit perfectly here.

"And the colors of a sun
Or its tender kiss -"

Beautiful, you have real talent and it shines throughout this piece.

"Wash off all darkness
And the color of your wings."

I liked that first line, it made me think and "wash" was a different word to use.

"Pain is poetic,
For what is sadder than a rainbow,
That has no blue?"

Perfect ending, very striking and powerful. I love how you ended it with a question, and this made me think too. Very good point.

5/5 from me, I really enjoyed this piece, is was so original and just kept me captivated.

~MaryAnne