You can't pretend
Like you don't see the coldness of your heart
Because behind your skin
And your porcelain face,
Obscures a much darker mask
Seemed with needles and lace
You've managed to withstand
A mighty hurricane of pain
Though the vengeance you are hiding just to seek
Is a continuous hunt,
A thirst which you cannot sustain
Incomprehensive, you are without feeling
Numb to the ability of understanding strife
And in a twisted arrangement,
Your sugared veins pulsate; disoriented
Without even the smallest sense of security
Internally diseased, your weak limbs crawl
If not to be annihilated
Crying out to nothing,
Because that is all you've left yourself with
Wallowing in your own pity
And seeking guidance that has disappeared
Gone and still going
You went too far this time around,
Shoving me and choking me up,
Only keeping me around to fulfill your every whim
If only your brain was the size of your ego,
You would have acknowledged a long time ago
What is meant by love and life and freedom
You never respected the sanctity of the living
Wrapping yourself around the insignificant
And never once paying attention to what matters
I know you couldn't see me for who I was,
But don't you see anything at all?
You walk all over yourself without realizing
The agonizing grief you wear
Disguising it as something to be proud of,
When really, you're caving in
Drowning yourself in something you can't claw your way out of,
And I would have confided in you
If you weren't such a conceited mess!
Your inadaquacy is shameful to me
The ignorance, the self-loathing
And unfortunately
It's too late to change what you've become
Mastering the art of disgrace
I can hear you and you keep laughing,
Even while burried in the underground
Because that is what you did to yourself
Kept putting yourself out only to fall down,
Tattered with deluded thoughts,
And now you've dug your own grave
I've done the sherade of prescriptions and toxic cures,
In hopes of removing your serrated mental skewers
Trying to shed myself of the bits and pieces of you that still painfully linger
Your hypocrisy is atrocious,
Polluting your lungs with ugly lies
Then you dare to spit in my face, telling me
I'm the one who was wrong,
And accused me of blasphemy
So what I've committed crime in the past?
In the end, you're the one responsible
And you're the one to blame for the
Whole controversy we created!
My very existence is scarred because of you!
One time wasn't enough
You just kept releasing the rage and immaturity
Over and over again
Yet you never found true satisfaction
You continued to strip me of my confidence,
Torturing me with your sad, sad promises
Taunting me to no end,
Until I'd run in circles with my tail between my legs
You've loaded that gun twice in a row,
Cocked the barrel and prodded me in the chest,
Forcing words and feelings from me,
And until now, I never knew I could die more than once
I applaud you for your success,
I'll remember it and reflect upon it
While you're on your knees sobbing, suffering,
Questioning your sanity
Just be glad the first time is over,
Find solace in the fact that there will never be a second
If not for this, the guilt would have done you in
Before you killed yourself
Perhaps when I'm free, I'll conquer my reality
Discover other sides of me
While redefining my mentality
