Nature calls

One of your best poems.

Great read.
Loved it.
Realistic and Made me think.
5/5
-Ally

P.S- Keep up the good work.

"I see the sun
Sinking slowly into the night
Traces of life drifting away
As dusk begins its plight"

Beautiful opening, it creates such an image for the reader and introduces them to your thoughts and words. I liked the rhyme here, I don't here "plight" used often.

"The darkness beckons me to come
Join us as you may
The twilight of the gods
Our world in dismay"

Very well done here, my only suggestion though would be to add punctuation here and in the rest of your poem. Just my opinion, it will look and read much better.

"Feel the river's quiet rage
The mountain's echo rumbles on
Through the fields, hear them cry
Our world is dying"

First line: This really struck the reader, it had a sense of power in it.

Second line: I liked this, the imagery and description given to the reader to feel and sense.

Third line: Very haunting this line was.

Fourth line: I felt this was a bit weak, maybe just the wording? I think I was just hoping for more uniqueness here, or one or two more words. It was just plain to me but that is my view.

"But this evil never stops
This evil never fails
Our hands always deceiving
While our hearts forever ail"

Great rhyming here too, I enjoyed that.

The first two lines were worded differently, it gave the sense of fear to the reader.

Your words are truthful and portray such a message, what a brilliant poem this is so far.

"Is there no remedy?
Greed, lust, disease and death
Hatred and corruption, our nature calls
Will we forever fall?"

Such thought-provoking questions that leave the reader pondering.

A pleasure to read, 5/5 from me, take care and God bless you!

~MaryAnne

Hmm, interesting comparison of a sunset to our would is dying. it made me think to myself a bit. and if that was it's purpose, it has succeeded.

at first i thought this was going to be about going to the bathroom... you know.... nature calls. lol