Contemplating Suicide

Last night I slept with tears in my eyes.
I dreamed of being alright,
No worries touched my heart,
No sorrow cut my soul.
Before this I cried,
Slowly I released my true self.
Do they know I'm faking when I walk beside them?
I keep everything inside
For fear to bother anyone.

Last night I felt alive
After I carved my new story.
No fear on my side
No pain to fight any longer
My remedy to redemption
Would be a gun
Can't they see the pain twisting in my heart?
It aches in every bone
When I cry these tears.

Silence I keep to not disturb others
The melody of my spirit evaporates
Leaving a tuneless whistle.
Maybe it's the wind
Or the rain drops that freeze my thoughts.
Not good enough for them or this world.
Give me that gun
I will silence the faint sound that is my heart beat.