Sultry Web (Collab)

And this is your last poem posted wow. you have come a long way the wording the style is more formed. wow you should be pride of how far you come

I really like how you wrote this one...it is really good i give it a 5

Thanks for the comment on my poem. Great job with urs tho i had to read it two time jus cuz iz dat good keep up the good work so wen eva i get on i can read. im add u to ma fav list.

"Intoxicated I've become a slave
to desire, a puppet that your bare
essence controls at will.
Unable to break the silken ties
of your sultry web Unwilling
to deny these lips your flavor."

Love this stanza.. very well written and amazingly put together. Well structured. Love it, nice write =)

Two people writing with one voice, to create one feeling. you were both well in sync. it was a bit saucy in the middle >_>

it may have just been me, but it threw me off a bit how some lines are cut short and the next line picks up where it left off.

but it still deserves a 5/5 for all it describes and the feeling it illuminates.

nice job guys
~Ben