Saying Goodbye

by Lady Nik   Aug 21, 2016

I was never good at this...
saying words I can't feel.
Goodbye, what's so good about
leaving? Did you think of that
when you let that bullet
rattle inside your brain?
Was that your last word
when your body hit the floor?


Whenever I think of you,
I don't think of the end.
I think of your hands covered
in the thickest grease. I think of
your garage filled with metal
tunes. I think of your smile
that won't let me sleep at night.
I think and I think but none of that
changes the reality I'm stuck with...

Being your friend taught me so much
How to laugh when others are complaining.
How to be strong when I can barely stand.
How to be different in a crowd of copies.
But of all the things you taught me...
saying goodbye was not one of them.

For Brian.


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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging Comment

    This broke my heart! Emotional poem indeed! What I admire about this poem is Lady Nik's ability to make things flow when the tears are flowing.. I know I cried when I read this! Just powerful!

  • 7 years ago

    by Cantchangeme

    Beautifully written. Terribly sad. Memmories and the way people influence you live on in you. Saying goodbye is important but remembering is vital. This poem is a powerful remembering.

  • 7 years ago

    by Saul

    So sorry for your loss. What a special person he sounds like he was. Beautiful expression of your love.

  • 7 years ago

    by Mr. Darcy

    Hello Lady Nik,

    Firstly, I am sorry for your loss.

    Your dedication to Brian's life is beautiful. Its descriptions of the bullet rattling inside his brain made me think if this was a metaphor for a possible tumor? Somehow, I think I like your description better.

    Brian was obviously a man of many qualities, from working on mechanical items, to offering his wisdom. I take it that Brian had a special ability to observe people, notice behaviours and accept them for who they are - who you are?

    The fact his smile is with you is a gift. A gift that many wish they could have; an inner smile that can remind them that life is worth living, but only if you can make the most of it.

    Well done on this, I think you actually are good at saying 'goodbye' and Brian would know this and smile.

    Take care,


  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    Just beautiful-so sad, so full of life in the face of death. I'm sorry for your loss-

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