When did everything go wrong?
My happiness and laughter,
it's all gone now.
The meter's finally empty.
I remember when life was perfect.
I had my friends there for me,
I had my "one" there for me,
I had everyone and everything.
It all went spiralling down once I was
pulled out of my lying thoughts
and brought back into reality,
realizing my life wasn't exactly
how things were supposed to be.
Life at home, was not normal.
The ways I was escaping it all, was not safe.
But sadly, I'd give anything to have
everything back in its original place.
When my parents had friends,
When my arms weren't sore and pink all the time,
When the stress level in my head was running out.
I want it back.
Lately I can't help but feel trapped and lonely,
when I'm surrounded by people
who just simply don't know me.
I don't even know who I am anymore,
and I'm scared.
The way I've been acting, who knows what
my parents would get if I ever came back.
They'd have a miserable and troubled teenage girl,
with a lot of mixed feelings and suppressed anger
that just can't find its way out.
I'm a danger to myself and confidence.
Probably because most of the time,
I'm always wishing my heart rate would
go down like temperature in winter.
I've thought about things like this a lot,
and it just doesn't make any sense.
I never used to be like this,
I don't think I even knew what "sadness" felt like.
But now I've been introduced to feelings
in comparison to sadness,
and I definitely don't like it.
I just want to be myself again,
and have everything go back to normal
so I can stop pulling my friends and family into my
head and stop killing myself inside.
Because one of these days,
I'm going to really lose it all.
And the universe just might possibly have a
chance at forgetting another person
in this lost world.
