Too Emotional..... Good and Bad

OK here's the thing I'm not sure how this will turn out because I'm writing this while I'm angry.

So i wake in the morning ready for the world
Roll over to say goodbye but my bed's empty no girl
off to the job do what i need to to make money
come home to no one house is empty no honey
frustrating

At times i still have to deal with other humans its true
but i just get so angry with the things they choose to do
maybe I'm selfish, maybe i should let them treat me bad
but all i know is emotions boil over when i get mad.
frustrating

bad enough i get mad at myself once a day
and i wanna leave earth, let alone far Rockaway
but I'm too scared of pain otherwise see you later
I'd be poof poof gone and no one would notice weeks later

but why do i think this way, how come i can't stop
thinking of suicide as an answer why doesn't it stop
thoughts of pleasing God should make me act otherwise
but i keep thinking if i don't get it its cuz i don't deserve the prize.

and that makes me angry at myself
this anger too much of this emotions bad for my health
i just wanna be happy, with someone if possible
sometimes i think an asylum should be my home or some hospital.

but this is probably taking to long the point I'm getting to
is why do i let all of these emotion start to get to
me. to the point i feel I'm gonna explode
feel like my brain is going into overload

and the only way out in my mind is no more breath
got no one to talk to so tell me what options are left
i guess I'm really just disappointed in myself
too emotional good and bad... is bad for your health.

K-Bye