Never Perfect

by Shinobi   Feb 12, 2010


Never had thoughts of such a way
When a heart so faint will wither
No redemption, for I must pay
For all it did was hinder

Found joy in life once again
Thoughts of an end shattered and fade
Like a black hollowed stain
Swallowing my body to shade

Sun no longer bright up above
Birds make no sound each morning
Waking to a black dawn today
Inside, soul and flesh are storming

Finding life deserted in ashes
Walking alone in a familiar path
Again those painful lashes
Awaken my sorrow, pain, and wrath

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Latest Comments

  • 14 years ago

    by Nobodys Hero

    Great job =] I thought the flow worked very well!! if there were any mistakes like the ones mentioned above then they competly went over my head as I enjoyed the piece very much! Your wording was also extremly good 5/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    I think some things Karl said were right but I still liked this piece. It seemed very personal and full of true feelings which is what really matters to me. I think this was very well written and reveals a little about your life. Nice work hun. Nik

  • 14 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    Wasn't sure what you were trying to do with the rhyme scheme it threw me off more than once. Wither and hinder don't rhyme neither do again and pain considering who we say it. Then above and today were totally different haha I still enjoyed the poem though and thought it was done pretty well. I would just suggest switching some words around or taking them completely out.