Unsolved Emptiness

by Shinobi   Mar 7, 2010


Pieces of an unsolved puzzle laid to rest
On a floor so cold, none dare walk on
Time, cruel and mighty, had set this test
Waiting, laughing, for a new frightening dawn

Life shattered before young boys eyes
Crying helplessly, tears of crimson pain
No one to calm him, none even tries
Thus it has begun, tears heavy as rain

Heart, bleeding and sore, lays to rest
Hands cradle it, staring with black dead eyes
Feelings, cruel emotions, he used to detest
Sorrow through words, tears, and cries

This void, filled by times cruel tests
Lays as an unsolved puzzle, soaked with tears
It's always hungry, and never rests
The embodiment of our deepest fears

Pieces of a puzzle, heart bleeding and sore
Life shattered, blinds the eyes to see
Crying for help, trying to figure the lore
Maybe, the solution, is right beside me

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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by PlasticSmile

    I agree with Carl, you over-used a few words and you should try switching it around a bit to flow a little better. But all in all, I like this poem, it's deep and dark. 4/5

  • 14 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I liked the poem and the rhyme scheme for the most part, but I felt you over used words throughout your poem. You used eyes and tears severel times and it just kind of threw me off a bit. I'd switch some around to make this just a little better. Nice job though